


The Last Stand of Living Island

by Katzedecimal



Category: HR Pufnstuf, World of Sid and Marty Krofft
Genre: Crack, Invasion, Wizards
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-07-10
Updated: 2018-10-12
Packaged: 2018-11-30 05:01:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,858
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11456514
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Katzedecimal/pseuds/Katzedecimal
Summary: After  years of resisting their resident witch, the citizens of Living Island thought they had what it takes when a group of powerful wizards came declaring their intent to invade.  But do they?  Or does their salvation rest in the hands of the unlikeliest of heroes?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> There is (understandably) no World of Sid and Marty Krofft tags on AO3 so someone had to do it and the muses regrettably decided it should be me. You're welcome.

"The wizards are coming! The wizards are coming!"

Pufnstuf snapped awake. He rolled up out of his nest and poked his head out of his door. He blinked curiously at the small, squat alarm clock that was scampering towards his cave. "What was that, Tick Tock?"

"The wizards are coming!" the young clock panted, "A lot of them!"

"Wizards?" They both turned to see Grandmother Clock and the Trees approaching. "What kind of wizards?"

"What would wizards want on Living Island?" said the Hippy Tree. 

"I bet it's that witch!" the Dowager Tree said, "She's brought them to Living Island to cause even more trouble!"

The Redwood Tree nodded, "I heard she dated a wizard, once!"

"They're her cohorts!" The others made noises of agreement. 

Pufnstuf held up his hands for quiet, "Now now, before we get ahead of ourselves, we should find out what's going on. Tick Tock, where did you see these wizards?"

"They're in the sky but they're heading towards the beach, Pufnstuf!"

"Alright," Puf nodded. He did not need this first thing in the morning. "Well, as Mayor of Living Island, I declare we should form an official welcoming delegation and go greet our guests!"

* * * *

There were four of them. They arrived on their own transports, some riding carpets, some riding various implements and items. Some wore tailored suits. Some wore resplendent robes. Their skins all had a greenish cast, and they all had the white witchmarks around their eyes. 

They were smiling. 

Puf began to wonder whether the Dowager Tree was right. He cleared his throat and stepped forward. 

"What is the name of this place?" one of the wizards drawled, before he could speak.

"Good morning!" Puf said, keeping to the script, "My name is H.R. Pufnstuf and as Mayor, I'd like to welcome you to Living Island!"

"'Living Island,'" the wizard repeated, pronouncing the words as though they offended him. 

Puf looked around at his delegation. Doctor Blinky, Grandfather Clock, Pop Lolly and the Redwood Tree all looked baffled. "Er, yes. We call it that because, well, everything is alive here!" 

The wizard stared at him like he'd just won the Captain Obvious Cup, and in a dry voice said, "Really?"

"Yes! Everything!" said Dr. Blinky, "The trees, the mushrooms..." The wizard arched a derogatory eyebrow. "But not just them! Also the rocks and buildings are alive!"

"How banal," the wizard's voice was no less desiccated. 

Puf stepped forward again, "Erm, how long will you be visiting our island, Mr... um...."

"Trymon," the wizard smiled again, showing an abundance of teeth, "Only long enough to subjugate all of you."

"Er... sub...what?" Puf felt Dr. Blinky tugging at his arm, turned around and whispered, "Doctor Blinky? What does 'subjugate' mean?"

"Oh my, Pufnstuf, this is terrible! The Dowager Tree was right! They're not here to visit us! They're here to conquer us!"

And the wizards' smiles were terrible indeed.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Meanwhile, on the other side of Living Island, Witchiepoo gets a rude awakening.

"Witchiepoo? Witchiepoo! Wake up, Witchiepoo! It's an emergency!"

The witch startled awake, flailing briefly before struggling to sit upright on her bed, "What? What? What's going on?"

"We got a problem, Chiefy," Seymour said. 

"Yes!" Orson agreed, "Living Island is being invaded!"

"Invaded?!" the witch said scornfully, "What are you talking about? Living Island can't be invaded!"

"It's true, Witchiepoo!" Orson fluttered, "Come and see for yourself!"

"Yeah but take your sleep mask off first!" Seymour added. Witchiepoo had a bad habit of forgetting to take her sleep mask off before she tried to leave the room, with violent consequences for everybody. 

She shoved the mask off, nearly dislodging her hat in the process before righting it and shoving it back onto her flame red hair. Her hair clashed with the greenish tint of her skin but made the white witchmarks around her eyes stand out. She struggled out of her pink nightdress and yanked the curlers out of her hair before pulling her black cloak over her gown. After putting on her shoes and stockings, she followed her minions to the observation room of the castle. 

The vulture stopped by the console. "Here, Witchiepoo," Orson said, waving a wing, "I've tuned it in for you. Just look and see."

She peered into the viewfinder then jerked back in shock. "Those are wizards!" She peered into it again. "What in the world?! Those are wizards and they're attacking Living Island!"

If spiders could roll their eyes, Seymour would have rolled his. "I'll go get you a cup of tea, Chiefy," he sighed, and scurried off. Witchiepoo was not at her best first thing in the morning, to put it mildly. 

But once she had her tea, she was in much better shape. "How long has this been going on?" she asked, not looking away from the viewer. 

"Since early this morning, at least," Orson reported, "I sent Stupid Bat out to have a look around."

"You should have called me sooner."

"I called you when they started zapping."

"Alright," she said. She sat back and tented her fingers. 

"You don't seem very surprised, Chiefy," Seymore said. 

"I'm not," she replied, "Remember that Hoodoo fellow I told you about? He was always on about conquering this place and conquering that place. He'd conquered Lidsville and he was already wanting to conquer Pantsville and Coatsville."

Orson and Seymour looked at each other. "Is there a Socksville?" Seymour asked. 

Witchiepoo shrugged, "Probably. Anyway, my mother told me that's what wizards do. They aren't happy just having one castle."

"Message for Witchiepoo! Message for Witchiepoo!" All three of them threw themselves to the floor as a large purple bat flew in through the window, sailed a foot above where they'd been standing, and crashed into the opposite wall. Vulture and spider wandered over to help it back up.

Witchiepoo rolled her eyes and shook her head, "What took you so long?"

"Sorry I'm late, Mistress," said Stupid Bat, "The Winds are making it hard to fly."

"So Pufnstuf is out there," she said thoughtfully, "How many of them are there?"

"There are four wizards, Mistress. I didn't see any more."

"Alright," Witchiepoo said. She got up and brushed down her gown, "Seymour, get me my wand. Orson, start the Vroom Broom."

Seymour brought the wand to her, "What are you going to do, Chiefy?"

"This is **my** island," she said darkly, "If those big green hobnobs think they can just waltz in and take it, they've got another think coming!"


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Witchiepoo fights back!

The Trees swayed, digging their roots into the earth as they bowed before the Winds. The West Wind paused for a breath then unleashed another fierce gust. Below, the wizards had gathered into a tight knot, their robes flapping. Living Island's residents ran about, screaming as the wizards continued to zap them undeterred. 

A screeching cackle drew their eyes up. Pufnstuf and Doctor Blinky looked up to see the Vroom Broom approaching. 

"It's her! It's that witch!" the Dowager Tree cried, "I knew she was in league with the wizards!"

The Vroom Broom wheeled around and they watched in dread as its pilot waved her wand with another wild cackle, and unleashed a volley of zaps. 

"Oh no, Pufnstuf! This is just what we needed," Doctor Blinky groaned. 

Puf pursed his lips. "Actually, Doctor Blinky, I think you might be right. Look where she's aiming."

Sand exploded, showering the wizards. One of them leaned in towards Trymon, "What's this? You never said there was a witch living here?"

"Indeed," Trymon drawled, "It appears our scouts were not as thorough as they should have been." Another zap exploded beside them and they ducked another shower of sand. Trymon raised his hand and sighted on the witch. "A witch is no match for a wizard," he said calmly, and fired a large zap at the Vroom Broom. 

"Hang on!" Witchiepoo yelled, and rolled the Broom. Orson felt sick.

"Jeepers, Chiefy, they're shooting at us!" Seymour screeched.

"Well of course they are, you eight-legged nincompoop, we're shooting at them! Orson, set the wand for fire. I'm coming around for another pass."

She pushed the Vroom Broom into a tight turn, cackling wildly as she unleashed a hailstorm of fireballs. The wizards dashed apart to avoid the deadly rain. 

The third wizard yelped, realizing the hem of his robe was on fire. He stamped at it, "Well whoever she is, she's strong."

"Perhaps," Trymon said, "But we are four and stronger." The four of them raised their hands and sighted. "A-one, a-two..." 

The blast sent the Vroom Broom tumbling backwards through the sky, smoke trailing from its bristles. A cheer went up from the Living Island residents, who were always a little confused even at the best of times. Puf shook his head.

He jumped onto the Rescue Ranger truck and called, "Cling and Clang! Come on, boys! Come on, Doctor Blinky!" They followed the smoke plume through the forest, before finally finding the downed Vroom Broom. Puf hurried over. "Are you alright, Miss Witch? Are you hurt?" 

"No," Witchiepoo replied, "But they damaged my Vroom Broom and I'm pretty mad about that. Keep working on it, Orson! Where did those green hoodlums come from, anyways?"

"I don't know," Puf admitted, "They showed up before dawn. We were all still asleep but Tick-Tock is an early riser. To be honest, Miss, we thought you brought them."

" _ **Me?!**_ " Witchiepoo scoffed, "Where'd you get a ding-dong idea like that?"

"Well you did date one, once."

Witchiepoo rolled her eyes, "Yeah, **once.** "

Behind them, the Vroom Broom coughed and guttered back to life. “We got it, Chieftess!” Seymour called. 

“Good, pile on,” Witchiepoo shouted, “I’m going to try another way. Pufnstuf, tell the Winds to hold their breath a bit, I want a good run at those wizards.”

“Alright,” Puf nodded. He watched the Vroom Broom lift back into the air then peel around in a circle before the rockets roared harder and the Broom sped back towards the beach. 

Trymon felt a tap at his elbow. “Um, Lord Trymon, sir? That witch is coming back.”

“Really? Already?” Trymon wiped his eye and straightened up from his inspection of a impudent flower, “How banal. We shall simply educate her once again. Ready, gentlemen? A-one, a-two…”

The Vroom Broom screamed overhead, the witch cackling as she waved her wand. The wizards froze. Literally - encased in ice.

“Jeepers, Chiefy!”

“One more pass, Orson!” The Vroom Broom banked hard and the witch rose, nearly standing in her seat, and gestured widely with the wand. There was a flash and smoke. 

And the beach was empty.

The residents of Living Island burst into wild cheering and applause.

“You did it, Chiefy, you did it!”

“You sure showed them, Mistress!”

“Where did you send them?” Pufnstuf asked.

Witchiepoo shrugged, “I dunno. Maybe over the sea.”

“Is that safe?”

“Who cares?” she scoffed, “They tried to invade Living Island!”

Doctor Blinky approached, wringing his wings, “More importantly, Pufnstuf, are they going to come back?”

“Good question, Doctor Blinky. Miss Witch? Do you think they’ll be back?”

Witchiepoo grinned her best witch grin, “Another thing my mother told me about wizards - they’re very persistent. Even more persistent than witches.”

**Author's Note:**

> I have no idea how far this is going to go. We'll see what the muse does.   
> You can find episodes of many World of Sid and Marty Krofft shows on YouTube, including HR Pufnstuf, Lidsville, Sigmund the Sea Monster, the Buggaloos, the Pufnstuf movie, Land of the Lost, the Bay City Rollers Show (yes the Bay City Rollers had a tv show, that's actually where this fic started...) Yes, I grew up with this stuff, during my formative years. This should explain much. 
> 
> A quick note, many of the characters on the Krofft shows, including Pufnstuf, are decidedly racist caricatures. I've tried to dial that back hard.


End file.
